


You're To Blame

by girlskylark



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Break Up, Domestic Fluff, Exes, Fluff and Humor, Forehead Kisses, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hopeless Romantic Keith, Humor, Internet Famous, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Kissing, Loneliness, Lonely Keith (Voltron), Love Confessions, M/M, Makeup, Minor Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Minor Keith/Lance (Voltron), Minor Keith/Matt (Voltron), Miscommunication, Model Shiro (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), Roommates, Scheming, Sharing a Room, YouTuber Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 20:56:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16840276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlskylark/pseuds/girlskylark
Summary: "I can safely say that he was not overselling a cent of this pure, juicy gossip. I was like all of you, once, before the moment this guy opens his apartment door to me. I, Lance McClain, born Catholic, was a nonbeliever before this moment."- - -Keith can't hold a relationship, but he isn't the problem—that blame would fall on his roommate, Shiro. Shiro has become known as the internet's anonymous heartthrob after Lance McClain's viral video tells the tale of Shiro's irrefutable beauty that was capable of incapacitating viewers.





	You're To Blame

**Author's Note:**

> Dudes I... I am a fool. I've been speed writing two OG books so I haven't been writing fanfiction. I used this to kind of experiment with dialogue a bit, so the intro is a bit different from my usual style of writing because of that :O
> 
> Also, this isn't edited (but what else is new)

It didn’t take an FBI agent—or Katie Holt, for that matter—to hunt down evidence of Lance McClain on the internet. Despite Lance’s humble, neutral presence on campus, he was easily recognizable to Keith for his very distinct personality.  Specifically, Lance’s internet personality. On top of being a full-time student, Lance McClain was a media personality of whom Keith heard tell of in the past. All it took was a vague sense of deja vu upon seeing Lance’s face on a dating app. It was this event that sent Keith into the spiral of, “ _God, where have I seen this kid before?_ ” before coming to the conclusion that YouTube was the answer.

Though, he didn’t want to soil the date by deep diving in Lance’s assortment of social media. He went into the date with nothing more than the face facts listed on his profile, and what they discussed through messaging on the app. It wasn’t until _after_ the date and over a week later that Keith grew tired of being left on  ✓ _Read_ and decided that he could risk looking at Lance’s social media.

The very first thumbnail video was stamped with the title, “TERRIBLE DATE MISTAKES.”

“Dear God,” Keith groaned, dropping his head to the table. His groaning was promptly followed by a series of fast footsteps racing from the other side of the apartment. It wasn’t _his_ apartment, and the fact that he wasn’t in _his own apartment_ was a story for another time.

Katie skidded across the wood, saying, “What is it? I heard distress and I came running.”

Keith said nothing. He thumped his forehead on the table again before wordlessly turning the computer around for Katie to see. She leant in, squinting. An instant later, her eyes widened in horror before looking to where Keith had yet to look up from the table. She clicked on the thumbnail for him and crawled onto a chair to settle in for the show. 

Keith didn’t look up until he heard Lance’s voice through the speakers, cheery as ever.

* * *

“Hey guys! _Welcome_ to my channel. We are going on Day Seven of my existential crisis, _which_ , if you aren’t aware of, make sure you follow me on Twitter where my daily updates are. In case you aren’t aware, you are witnessing an individual who has touched the face of God and glimpsed Heaven, and I fear the worst because it’s turned me one hundred and ten percent gay. Beyoncé may have turned me bi, but this— _ugh_!—this changes the game, guys. It really does.

“Now, you may be wondering: Who is God if God is not a caucasian white male in a toga? I cannot begin to tell you without… _regaling you_ on the events that led to this holy meeting. It begins with Tinder.

“As you may or may not be aware, Tinder takes up approximately fifty percent of my phone’s battery life. It’s sort of become a habit of mine to go on a date or two whenever I travel, which _has_ been happening a lot, thanks to you guys. Anyway, that said, I’ve probably become a familiar face to a lot of the people on my campus and honestly I’ve made more friends through Tinder than I have hookups. Which, I mean, isn’t a _terrible_ thing, but a guy’s gotta get some, you know?

“Anyway, there’s this fresh handsome face that showed up and so I swiped straight into his DMs and we _really_ hit it off. It’s hard to tell if someone recognizes me straight off the bat, but from what I gathered, this guy didn’t recognize me. And that’s fine, I mean, I get to make a _serious_ first impression on this guy. And just to preface: This kid is _smoking_. His photos all look professional, he’s got this grungy, street look but it’s _tasteful_. I don’t really know how to describe it. _Oh!_ On top of all this, he’s Korean. So he’s basically perfect in my eyes because I _definitely_ going through a problematic Kpop phase…

“We hit it off, and as the story goes, we set up a date to get coffee the day before I leave for Seattle and it’s really sweet because he totally bought my drink and it’s just about every poor college kid’s dream. He’s honestly spent more time around this city than I have even though we go to the same campus or whatever, so he picked the spot and it’s right down the street from this cute little trinket store that sells handmade goodies and records. We may or may not have held hands on the way there, and he _definitely_ bought me this little pin that says— _oh_ , wait, I still have it. Let me show you. 

“See? It’s a little boba pin and it’s got a cute smiley face. Though, I feel terrible keeping it because of what happens next. It’s close to the holidays and he goes and buys a present for his roommate—fine, whatever. I didn’t think anything of it, but we planned on walking down by the river and since we can’t be carrying around this expensive, fragile, vintage vinyl, you know what I’m saying? And so this kid suggests we stop by his apartment to drop it off. 

“So I’m like, ‘Sure, fine, let’s do it,’ but as we’re walking there—it’s not too far from the store, mind you—he takes up upon himself to warn me, ‘Just so you know, my roommate might be there.’ Like… _fine_ , whatever, let’s just do this, you know? But he gets super serious and, like, now _I’m_ getting serious. I mean, what if his roommate’s a serial killer or something? I don’t really know, my mind’s just going bonkers at this point because he starts to talk about his roommate like something terrible’s gonna happen. So I ask him what his issue is with his roommate and he just says something like, ‘Every date I’ve brought over ends up being more interested in my roommate than me.’

“And I _wish_ I could say he was totally overselling this whole roommate thing. Right now you’re probably like, ‘This kid is a self-conscious, whiney bitch,’ but as witness to the occasion, I can safely say that he was _not_ overselling a cent of this pure, juicy gossip. I was like all of you, once, before the moment this guy opens his apartment door to me. _I_ , Lance McClain, born Catholic, was a nonbeliever before this moment.

“So we get into his apartment and he goes to his room to put the present away. It’s all wrapped up in a paper bag, so no worries about the roomie seeing it. And the apartment _looks_ empty and so I’m chilling in the entryway kinda trying not to touch anything or look at anything, but how can you not _look at something_ if your eyes are open, you know what I’m saying? So naturally I see this guy come in from my peripheral and I’ve gotta do a double-take because this man is the most gorgeous hunk of flesh I’ve ever laid eyes on. I cannot… bring words to the beautiful of this sole individual. I’ve never seen someone _that perfect_ in my entire life.

“This guy comes up to me and is like, ‘Hey, you must be… my roommate’s date’—I’m not about to spill names here—but he asks me for _my_ name. I swear to God I am not kidding you when I say I forgot my damn name.

“I forgot my fucking name, guys. This guy was so gorgeous I forgot who I was.

“I stand there stammering for a solid few seconds and wind up just saying something like, ‘Uh… hi,’ and start giggling like a little girl.

“The guy, who I went on the date with, bless his heart, came to the rescue. You can tell he’s a little pissed that his roommate even came out from hiding, and makes short work of getting us the fuck out of there. I’m still… I’m still just in pure _shock_ over this. For one, I want to know who is capable of living with someone _that perfect_. I know that if _I_ was in that situation, I’d be comatose. My brain just wouldn’t be able to function in that environment. If I forgot my name in the two seconds I saw this guy, imagine how much I’d forget after a _month?_

“ _Two_ , now I can’t even argue against what the guy said about every one of his dates bailing on him! Like, did his other dates try to sleep with his roommate or something? I didn’t want to ask, I was too terrified to, but somehow I made it through the date unscathed and I just… did what any normal human being would have done in that situation and just wound up _ghosting him_. He messaged me a few times but… I can’t stop thinking about his _roommate_. 

“That said, he was a truly sweet guy and I really… _do hope_ that he finds someone who loves him more than they love his roommate because… _Shit_ , that just… It’s a shitty situation, if I’m being honest.”

* * *

“Shiro’s _ruining my life_ ,” Keith moaned into his arms. He followed up with a fake sob as he turned his pout up to Katie, who closed his laptop slowly with a grimace on her face. She already heard Keith’s side of the story, but… Lance had more of the story than _Keith did_. 

He wasn’t sure if this was the worst or the best outcome from his other dates. His other dates—a total of _four_ —all ended with Keith stuck as a third wheel in a conversation between him, his date, and Shiro. No matter how long he tried to keep his dates from meeting Shiro, it was hard to avoid the inevitable—especially when one of the five total dates was a longterm boyfriend by the name of Matt Holt. Specifically, Katie’s brother.

It was a miracle that he and Matt were still on speaking terms, but after witnessing _Shiro?_ Matt hasn’t dated since. He was, perhaps, more devastated than Keith about the whole ordeal after realizing that Shiro was in a longterm relationship. Shiro wasn’t even _available_ and yet every one of Keith’s date—minus Lance McClain—attempted to sleep with him. Either that, or take to messaging Shiro over Keith. 

“I’d like to correct your statement,” Katie said, settling her hands together in front of her. She steepled her index fingers together and said with a point, “He’s ruining your _love life_. He isn’t ruining your life. Without him, _you_ wouldn’t even have a place to stay.”

“I know,” Keith groaned. He straightened in his seat, but keeping that up was exhausting. He was going to die of loneliness before long, he was sure of it, so what did it matter if he slumped? He went back to slumping. 

Katie promptly opened his laptop again, this time with a skeptical scowl. “What _I_ want to know is why he’s posting about personal dates? Like, doesn’t he know _you_ know he has a YouTube channel?”

“No,” he sighed. He propped his head up on his hand and took to picking at the wooden table surface. He shrugged. “Honestly, I only saw, like, one of his videos that went viral. I figured he wouldn’t want his date to be a fan, you know?”

“I guess. But it’s kinda shitty of him to go advertising failed date experiences. I mean— _Oh my God_ , he has an entire playlist of failed dates. He does failed date collabs, Jesus Christ.”

“If only I had known that before. I never would have initiated contact,” Keith sighed. He met Katie’s eye. “You have to screen every one of my dates, now.”

“Fuck no,” she snorted. She pushed the laptop over to him. “You can do that yourself, or… just stop dating?”

Keith laughed and said, “Yeah, _no_ , not happening. I’m not gonna stop dating just because Shiro keeps unknowingly stealing my dates.”

Katie shrugged as she pushed up her glasses and turned away with a quiet, “Whatever you say…” 

Keith went back to scowling at where Katie paused the video. He turned the screen a little, to get a better look at the pitying look on Lance’s face, his hands clasped beneath his chin as if praying for Keith to overcome his love life struggles that begin and ended with Takashi Shirogane.

Keith left Katie and Matt’s apartment far more dejected than when he arrived. His laptop weighed in his backpack with the realization that he’d lost his fifth potential partner within a year. _Under_ a year, to be precise. He craved a relationship more than ever now, and the bitterness that came from being unable to hold onto a boyfriend was starting to gnaw away at his confidence. He knew he couldn’t hinge his self-worth on a romantic relationship, but his anxiety started to use it as a crutch. 

For a while, he was fine. Shiro had Adam, right? It was fine. Keith didn’t even consider dating when he came to college, so the fact that his roommate was off limits wasn’t an issue. 

But _God_ , the hopeless romantic in him wanted someone to hold at night. He wanted someone to entrust his thoughts and ambitions, to hold his hand on the walk to campus. He didn’t mind being alone until he started to grow jealous of what Shiro had with Adam. He started to want that, too. 

It started to feel like Shiro and Adam were taunting him with their perfect relationship. Adam was no stranger to PDA, and though the apartment wasn’t technically _public_ , Keith didn’t feel welcome in the room when Adam and Shiro snuggled for their designated movie nights. Keith was left on one end of the couch while Shiro settled his head on Adam’s lap and let Adam comb his fingers through Shiro’s hair. 

Keith clenched his fists where he had them tucked beneath his crossed arms. It _was_ jealousy—he identified that trait early when his “okay-ness with being alone” started to fade. That jealousy was starting to turn into adulterated _anger_. 

How _dare_ Shiro have such a perfect relationship and continue to unknowingly thwart Keith’s chances? On the terrible nights when Keith festered in his anger, he would wish he never agreed to room with Shiro in the first place. He wished, for a split second, that fate hadn’t assigned him Shiro as his roommate in the dorms. He could have backed out, sophomore year, but it didn’t happen. He had a choice then, it felt like he had no choice now than to stick with Shiro.

Despite everything, though, he and Shiro were compatible as roommates. They were compatible enough for Keith to consider Shiro his best friend. Freshmen year had been incredible. He missed sharing an actual room with Shiro, so that they could talk late at night from across the gap between their bunks. Back then, he didn’t mind when Adam stayed the night. Shiro was respectful of all that entailed being a roommate, so nothing obscene ever happened with Keith in the room.

He was… thoughtful, but his ignorance in the realm of Keith’s inability to hold a date completely counteracted that. Shiro was the smartest guy Keith knew, and yet somehow, he was the center of the problem. It wasn’t that Shiro was ignorant to Keith’s dates’ _advances towards him_. He was transparent about those, and on those nights, they’d drink themselves silly and nitpick Keith’s failed dates with a veil of humor, laughing until their stomachs hurt. 

Keith only entrusted the sour feelings with Katie, who was just as cynical as him when it came to those situations. Shiro would try to cheer him up, and Katie would stoke the flames. It was just how things worked.

Keith approached his apartment and sighed at the white-painted door. By now, it was dark, and as Keith opened the door to the apartment stairs, he flicked on the light and stomped the snow from his Converse. He locked the door behind him and pocketed his keys on the ascent to their door. Mentally, he ran over what expression he would wear for Shiro—would he even tell the truth? He felt… _ashamed_ about his failed date with Lance, and he almost didn’t _want_ Shiro to know that he lost another one, yet again. 

_He doesn’t have to know every second of my life_ , he reminded himself. Best friends or not, he didn’t owe Shiro the conclusion to his short-lived relationship with Lance. The conversation of Lance would fade until neither of them brought him up again.

They’d ghost the subject of Lance sort of like… how Lance ghosted Keith.

Keith put a hand to his head and resisted the urge to groan as he opened the door to his apartment. 

The moment the door opened a crack, he was met with the sound of muffled voices across the apartment. He didn’t think anything of it until he was unlacing his Converse and realized that Adam’s voice was raised. It wasn’t enough for Keith to understand the words, but the tone of it was _definitely_ some level of _pissed off_.

Keith put his shoes in the closet along with his jacket. In the process of setting his backpack on a kitchen stool, he was interrupted by the sound of Shiro’s bedroom door slamming. Keith jumped, startled, and looked up to where Adam was heading down the hall—in _his_ direction.

Keith’s eyes widened at the red tinge to Adam’s eyes. He looked down in hopes that he wouldn’t have to ask what happened and busied himself with unpacking his backpack. Adam zipped up his coat before reaching for the door.

Before leaving, he turned to Keith. He sensed Adam’s eyes on him and managed to look up and meet Adam’s fury. “What’s… going on?” Keith asked.

Keith almost expected Adam to say nothing, but instead, Adam scoffed and said, “Figures,” before mockingly saluting Keith and adding, “Have a nice life, Keith.”

He made sure to slam the door twice as hard as he did with Shiro’s bedroom door. Keith winced when he felt the sound of it in the core of his chest. He put a hand to the countertop and looked down the hall and then back to the door where Adam left in a rage. 

Shiro’s door clicked open and moved slowly. A moment later, Shiro leaned out of his room, ducked low. “Is he gone?” Shiro whispered. Keith could only see the top of his head and a hint of his eyes peering around the doorframe. 

“Uh, yeah… he’s gone. What the hell happened?” Keith said, almost laughing. He’d never seen Adam so furious, and if it was a common scenario, Keith wouldn’t have found it funny at all. Adam only got mad over ridiculous, nonsensical things that didn’t warrant _serious_ anger, like Star Wars or astrophysics. 

Shiro sighed in relief and emerged from his room. He rubbed a hand through his messy, unwashed hair. He was wearing a pair of Christmas pajamas that were a size too large, and on top of it, he hadn’t shaved in a few days. Despite what could have been a potentially imperfect version of Shiro, Shiro’s facial hair always grew in seamlessly, and he was (debatably) at his best with messy, second-day hair. 

He sighed again, sliding into one of the countertop stools. “We… got into an argument. I think it’s over.”

“What’s over?”

Shiro gestured his fingers in the shape of a circle. “ _Us_. This.”

“Oh, wow,” Keith said, and he wanted to punch himself for it. He closed his eyes and damned himself to hell. “I mean, that sucks.” _That’s even worse than before!_ his brain screamed.

“I don’t know,” he said. He was staring into the void, scratching at his chin. He propped his head on his hand and looked at Keith. He glanced down to Keith’s backpack before saying, “Tell me about your day.”

Keith stared at him before blurting out, “ _What?_ I mean, we don’t have to talk about it, but are you… okay? I mean, I can make hot chocolate or something—”

“No. Please, no, let’s not talk about it. Tell me about your day.”

_Well, aside from being anonymously publicly humiliated on YouTube…_ Keith thought. It was all he could think about, though. The rest of his day didn’t matter aside from that. What was he even doing at Katie’s house, anyway?

“I was at Katie’s house,” he said.

Shiro sighed wistfully. “What for?”

“I don’t know.”

Shiro pouted his lips suspiciously. “You don’t… know?”

Keith straightened his back and said, with courage, “I forgot what I did today,” whilst silently thanking Lance for this one thing: a shitty alibi.

“Keith…” Shiro sighed, annoyance etching his expression now. Keith translated it as the verge of a breakdown, though, and sprung into action.

“We still have that calming chamomile tea—that should help,” Keith said, hurrying into the kitchen. He opened their tea cabinet and started the kettle against Shiro’s insistence that he didn’t need anything to numb the pain of his broken heart, but it only prompted Keith to say, “We’ll spike it with alcohol. It’ll taste repulsive but you’ll be knocked out by eight.”

He made some for himself, and together, they chugged the unholy concoction and settled on the couch to finish homework. They turned on cartoons as a distraction from the boredom of writing their essays, so every look away from the computer screen wouldn’t put them on the mental path leading down to their breakups. Keith’s head started to feel like cotton before long, saturated in the lull of sleep. He settled with his head tipped back against the couch cushion and watched the television out of the corner of his eye until his eyes drifted closed.

Keith treated the subject of Adam like it was unapproachable due to the possibility of pitting Shiro into further emotional pain. Instead, he waited for Shiro to bring it up, which he never did. It was odd, considering how Keith’s past four breakups were something of a joke in their apartment. Keith loathed to make Lance into a joke, considering the state of their affairs being broadcasted to over _one million people_. 

Keith couldn’t believe the stats. He checked them every day. He couldn’t help it—he was fascinated with this sliver of fame he gained via Lance McClain’s _YouTube phenomenon_. Even though… no one knew who he was, necessarily. His one semi-longterm boyfriend might know who Lance talked about considering the location of his apartment from the trinket record store, but Keith couldn’t even be sure if Katie would have shown the video to Matt.

_Who am I kidding, of course she did_ , Keith sighed on the way to the gym before his morning classes.

He scuffed his boot against the snowy curb at the exact moment he recognized a familiar olive green coat heading in his direction from over the crosswalk. Keith jolted at the sight, and didn’t think at all when he started to move in the man’s direction.

The instant their eyes met, Lance yelped and turned around to run. 

Keith hesitated before his brain said, _Fuck it_ , and he shouted, “Wait, Lance! I saw the video—”

“Yes, that’s why I’m running!” Lance shouted back, huddling away, wary of the ice patches on the sidewalk as he leapt up and skidded. He screamed, arms flailing until Keith caught him from behind. Lance floundered in his arms before yanking himself away and straightening his jacket with a huff. “I’m not sharing the profit.”

“I… wasn’t asking you to?” Keith said, only to shake his head in confusion. “Wait, what profit?”

Lance crossed his arms with a pout. “From the video. I’m paying for college with my channel and I can’t afford to pay for yours, too.”

“Wow, harsh,” Keith laughed. Lance didn’t seem to be kidding, so he cleared his throat and said, “It doesn’t matter. Well, the video _matters_ , but I don’t… care? Okay, this is a disaster. What I mean to say is that I’m not mad about it and I’m not expecting anything from you.”

“Oh,” Lance said. His shoulders relaxed, and he dropped his hands to his pockets. He fidgeted awkwardly before saying, “Thanks, I guess. And sorry for ghosting you.”

“It was understandable,” Keith sighed. He scratched a hand to his head and added, somewhat bitterly, “It isn’t the first time. I’m just… glad you didn’t try to sleep with him. My other dates did—emphasis on _try_.”

“Have you tried?” Lance asked. Keith snorted and threw his head back with a laugh. “I’m serious!”

Keith covered his smile with a hand and shook his head. “ _No_ , I haven’t tried. He’s in a relationship—I mean, he _was_. Pretty much for as long as I’ve known him, actually.”

“Okay, because I have a theory that he was cursed by Aphrodite or something,” he said, and they both burst into laughter. “Everyone wants to meet him, though. If he ever, like, needs a job… or something…”

“Yeah, I don’t think being an internet personality is his goal in life. He has an internship lined up with an architecture firm.”

“Sexy. I bet he has all kinds of tools,” Lance said with an evil glint in his eyes. 

“I mean, yeah, but they’re all sharp and knife-like,” Keith said. Shiro’s drafting table cupboards were filled with them, along with fine-tipped metal pencils and curved disks, triangular rulers, and other measuring tools. 

Lance slumped with a disappointed pout. Keith tipped his head with a fond smile. After all of the drama following their poor date, he forgot the reason why he decided to following up with Lance on Tinder. He didn’t wholly regret it, knowing that Lance’s humor was genuine. 

“Well,” Keith said with a wistful sigh and a mocking bow. “I won’t keep you. I need to get to the gym anyways.”

“Alright. And Keith?” Lance said, catching him by the arm as he walked by. He looked back at Lance, who smiled and said, “I really do hope you find a guy who likes you more than your roommate.”

Keith walked away grinning, biting his lip as he swiped into the gym that day. He didn’t expect to talk to Lance again, but halfway through his workout, his phone buzzed in the cupholder on the treadmill. He lifted it to find a message from Lance. Out of curiosity, he opened it and read Lance’s query with a tense brow: “ _Hey, I have another theory: Do you think he’s being intentional?_ ”

It took a while for Keith to wrap his head around this idea Lance presented. Lance followed it up with a quick, “ _Just a thought. I know you said he was in a relationship, but tbh it kinda seemed that way to me…_ ” and it just pressed on Keith’s brain more. Its weight increased with each passing mile on the treadmill until he started to nitpick his times with Shiro the way he and Shiro used to with Keith’s exes. After living together for nearly three years, Keith was used to their own quirks with each other. He never thought to read into it, especially with Shiro in a relationship with Adam. 

Shiro and Adam were high school sweethearts. Shiro was automatically off-limits. Keith respected those boundaries (even if his own exes didn’t). The way Shiro acted around Adam was… a different extreme to the way he acted around Keith. Before Shiro, certain things just felt off-limits to just about everyone. Before Shiro, Keith would have jumped at the very thought of someone alerting their presence by pressing their hand to his lower back. Before Shiro, Keith never would have felt comfortable falling asleep against someone’s shoulder. 

Little things like that.

Adam was never bothered by it.

_But maybe something changed_. 

_No_ , he reminded himself, shaking his head. _Shiro’s heartbroken over Adam. Shiro loved Adam_.

And Shiro _did_ love Adam, at one point. Keith wouldn’t know if Shiro still did if he never asked. Shiro’s dismissal and lack of acknowledgement towards Adam now was easily marked off as “ignorance as the best strategy to overcome emotional hurt”. Keith was certainly an advocate of that, no matter how unhealthy it was, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to _pry_. But prying could churn up those terrible feelings Shiro might be holding down.

_Only one way to find out_ , he thought to himself that day at the gym. His resolve was settled.

* * *

From that point on, Keith was on the lookout. 

He studied details he wouldn’t normally study—Shiro’s greetings, his jokes, his compliments. It wasn’t off brand of Shiro to compliment Keith now and again, always on his hair and clothes. But after Keith’s discussion with Lance, there were two specific mentions that had Keith tripping over himself from the weight of their implications. 

He and Shiro worked out together on the weekends—their work and class schedules were too hectic during the week to bother, but come Saturday, they made it a habit to visit the gym in the morning. It was leg day, and Keith dreaded it because he and Lance were on talking terms again and had asked if Keith wanted to help him with a video project. It meant he’d have to walk around for several hours after working out, and he’d be in agony the next day.

Shiro spotted him during barbell squats. Spotting didn’t exactly require _intense supervision_ , especially considering the weight Keith was packing wasn’t pushing his limits, but through the mirror he could see Shiro behind him, a hand hovering over Keith’s back as Keith pushed to his feet, legs shaking. He straightened his posture before bracing to lower again. He was squinting at Shiro through the mirror, not that Shiro noticed. Shiro’s focus was down lower.

“What’re you looking at?” Keith asked. 

Shiro startled as though caught. “Nothing. You’re doing good.”

Keith rolled his eyes. He braced his feet and lifted up, thinking to himself about how much he wanted to tease Shiro, whose ears were now pink. He would only blush if he had something to be embarrassed about. Explicit teasing wasn’t in the cards, but it didn’t stop Keith from standing directly in front of Shiro when they switched positions. Every squat put Shiro’s face level with Keith’s crotch and abdomen.

Keith put his hands on his hips and reminded himself that he was being childish. Matt used to tease him _constantly_ —that was just a factor of Matt’s meme-ish humor. Keith wrongly assumed that Shiro was too soft for that sort of thing. 

Shiro met his eyes as he stood again, hands braced on the metal bar between the weights. Keith tipped his head to the side and said, “Who broke it off?”

“What do you mean?” Shiro asked before ducking down again. 

Keith followed him down with his eyes and back again to say, “You or Adam?”

“Oh,” Shiro said with a huff. “I did.”

“I thought Adam did,” Keith confessed, raising an eyebrow as Shiro bent down again. “Was it… difficult? How long were you thinking about breaking it off?”

“Well,” he said, grunting as he stood. He winced a little, readjusting his stance as he looked to the ceiling and said, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Probably since September. It didn’t seem like a big deal to me by the time I mentioned the idea.”

“What idea? Breaking up?”

“No, just… falling out of love, I guess,” he said. He pushed the barbell up over his head and hefted it down to his waist. He lowered it to the ground between them and put his hands on his hips. He tensed his brow and said, “I’m surprised it took you so long to ask about it.”

“I just… figured you were beat up about it,” he confessed, quietly. He looked at his feet to keep from looking Shiro in the eye because for the first time since they met as roommates, Shiro was available. 

_Shiro was available_.

This one statement would lull Keith to sleep at night before waking him in the morning. It was idiotic and _childish_ of him to feel so hooked on this, but it came as a consequence to living in a small-ass apartment with Shiro. Lance was right about another thing: Months of living with a person as good looking as Shiro _should have_ numbed Keith to it, but _fuck_ , Keith was becoming starstruck. He was surprised he avoided it for so long.

Granted, the first month in the dorms was torture, but after a while, and after getting to know Adam, survival instincts prevented Keith from stepping near _that_ territory. It now took serious self-control to look away whenever Shiro left the bathroom in nothing but a towel, or to stop his heart from overworking itself when he saw Shiro napping on the couch or flipping pancakes in the kitchen for the two of them.

Just… the little things in their not-romantic, not-sexual relationship. _Friendship, I guess?_

To get away from _all that_ , Keith took to Katie’s apartment to shower so he wouldn’t have to deal with another shirtless ordeal of Shiro in the locker room at the gym. He trudged into her apartment groaning and moaning before collapsing face-first on her couch.

Katie shut the door and turned to him with a scowl. “Stop getting your sweat all over my fancy blanket.”

“But I’m _dying_ , Katie…”

“Die somewhere else!” she said. Before he knew it, she was yanking the blanket out from under him. He tumbled off of the couch with a thud on the ground, his elbow whacking into the coffee table. The table rattled, and Keith let out a strained, weak, “ _Ow…_ ”

Katie gasped, laughed, and said, “Oh my God, are you okay? I didn’t mean _actually_ die.”

Keith struggled to sit up as they heard her brother shouting from down the hall, “Who’s dying? Am I invited to the funeral?”

Katie stood, hand on her hip, and said, “ _Keith’s dying!_ He’s ascending to another plane of existence where Shiro’s still hot and single.”

Keith whacked his hand against her ankle. She leapt with a scream and kicked him in the ass. In the middle of their scuffle, Matt emerged from his dungeon to sprint across the apartment and skid across the wood with his wool, llama-printed socks. His eyes were wide, his hair was wild, and he was the image of a man still hung up on Keith’s roommate. 

“Did I hear that Shiro’s single?” he said, voice low. 

Keith clasped his arms around his knees as he rose from the ground with a painful grimace. “You heard that correctly, yes. He broke up with Adam last week.”

Matt lifted his fists into the air. Katie groaned, “Brace yourself,” before covering her ears. Matt started out at a quiet, gentle yell that progressed into an all-out soul-ripping scream that reverberated across the apartment and split Keith’s skull in two. Keith’s hair stood on end by the time Matt closed his mouth.

“This _doesn’t mean_ he’s gonna _date you_ ,” Keith said, but it came out as a shout. He rubbed a hand over his ear, wincing as he stood.

Matt dropped his arms dejectedly. “Aw, but I’m good looking, right? I mean, we used to date.”

“I don’t think Shiro’s into memes, sorry,” Keith said.

“But you are,” Matt said, proud as ever. He grinned cheekily at Keith, who stared at him blandly. When Matt winked at him, Keith decided he needed to escape.

“I’m gonna shower and then immediately leave,” he told Katie before grabbing his duffle and heading for the bathroom.

Lance was even less help given the situation, as he was still, “Fresh and single and ripe for the taking,” as it were. When they met up at the river and asked customary small-talk questions like, “ _How was your day?_ ” Keith was obligated to pour out his theories on Shiro’s breakup with Adam. Lance was thrilled by the news and intended to use Keith as the network that led to all his previous exes asking to hook up with Shiro. Keith was their tether to Shiro’s side.

Keith stood, simmering in mortification as Lance got down on his knees and grabbed Keith by the legs, begging, “I’ll do anything you want if you would just give him my phone number.”

Lance fake-sobbed against Keith’s jeans, rubbing his forehead against them. Keith sighed, staring out at the water. He waited until Lance made the ridiculous offer of, “I’ll adopt a cat for you!” before discretely trying to step away. He wound up dragging Lance a few feet before kicking Lance in the abdomen. 

“I am _not_ helping you hook up with him!” Keith said.

“I wouldn’t call engagement and eventual marriage till death do we part ‘hooking up’, necessarily,” Lance said. 

Keith stomped his foot and groaned. He put a gloved hand to his face and threw it up in the air before saying, “I _told you_ , I think Shiro broke up with Adam because of me. I need evidence that Shiro’s into me, and you said you got that vibe when we went over to my apartment.”

Lance pushed himself onto one of the wooden benches and sighed, tossing an arm over the back of the chair. He shook his head and looked Keith in the eye to say, “I’m not about to ruin my chances with him. I was _born_ to do Shiro, if you know what I’m saying.”

“Lance, come on. You’re able to get laid way easier than me, _and_ you said you hoped I’d find someone who likes me more than my roommate,” Keith insisted. 

Lance swore colorfully, slapping his hands together. He scowled out at the water and said, “Curses. I’ve foiled myself. That’s a good one, Keith. That’s _real_ good.”

“So will you help me?” Keith said. 

Lance didn’t look pleased one bit about agreeing to help, but he _did_ agree, and that was all that mattered. He agreed under the condition that the plan would involve him seeing Shiro one last time to mourn his nonexistent future with Shiro. Like most plans, it wasn’t foolproof, and since they were both fools, something was bound to go wrong. Keith figured that if all else failed, he would just… potentially ruin his friendship with Shiro to find out. He _had_ to find out, if he ever hoped to retain a shred of his sanity. He would ask if Shiro liked him romantically, and if not, Keith would just… never be able to show his face around the apartment again. 

And that was just how it was.

Bringing Lance over to the apartment a second time was probably a mistake. A _huge_ mistake, actually. Keith figured it would be, and so he sent a warning text to Shiro along the lines of bringing “someone” over to the apartment. Keith wouldn’t know until later that video footage of Shiro would be all over the internet, or that the content of those videos would turn into a story the masses wanted to unfold. 

But that was for another day.

Before Keith was privy to Lance’s phone recording from the guy’s shirt pocket, they first had to enter the premises. They hurried up the stairs, Lance giggling like a maniac until Keith stopped him at the door and hissed, “Can you calm down for a hot second, please?”

“ _Hot_ second. I’m so hot right now,” Lance said, fanning himself. Keith gave him a droll stare, which prompted Lance to throw his arms out and said, “ _What?_ I’m just thinking about him, you know, what I do constantly, every day of my life—”

“I am _this close_ to throttling you,” Keith said before unlocking the apartment door. He bumped his hip against it, pushing it open wide enough for the both of them to step in. His chest hurt from how hard his heart was racing as he called out, “Hey, Shiro—I brought Lance over. We’re just gonna hang out in my room for a bit.”

It took a few seconds. In that time, Lance tugged his coat off and brushed his shoes on the welcome carpet before closing the apartment door behind him. Keith could feel his adrenaline compromising his rationality, but it gave him the immediate alert to Shiro entering the hallway behind Keith saying, “Lance? Were you two just on a date?”

Lance spun around with a yelp that withered into a faint, “Sweet Jesus.” Keith slapped a hand to his head before turning and realizing what the issue was. His will to live shriveled up and died when he saw that Shiro was shirtless, a towel in hand like he was just preparing to shower. Lance took charge with an eager, “Yeah! He took me to this cute ramen place.”

Keith looked back at Lance with an annoyed face and mouthed, “ _Ramen? Really?_ ” Lance stuck his nose up to Keith before honing in on the fact that Shiro was making himself comfortable at the kitchen counter.

“How was it? Have we been there?” Shiro said, looking to Keith.

Keith opened his mouth to answer, but Lance swept in, saying, “It was _great_. He told me all about you!”

Shiro offered a sweet, genuine smile. Lance was midstep towards the kitchen when it happened and his knees turned to jelly. Keith watched him stagger and clutch onto the countertop, a hand flying to his heart. Lance cleared his throat, his voice gone rough. “I- I mean, he tells me you’re, uh… an architect.”

“Still in school, but yeah. I can’t do much without a masters, though,” Shiro said. His smile was more out of amusement now as he glanced over at Keith, who was beside himself. 

“Can you _maybe_ put a shirt on?” Keith asked him. 

“What if I don’t want to,” Shiro said. Out of the corner of his eye, Keith saw Lance wheezing in the kitchen. “I’m quite comfortable.”

“Lance doesn’t want to see that,” Keith insisted, but he knew it was a lie, and Lance made _sure_ he knew it was a lie.

“I wouldn’t say ‘ _doesn’t_ ’,” Lance said. 

Keith shot a glare in Lance’s direction. Lance wrinkled his nose at Keith before Keith reached for Lance’s hand. He could tell Lance was about to fight him just based on the way he bunched up his shoulders until Keith said, “Weren’t we supposed to be hanging out _elsewhere?_ ”

“Right! Yeah, okay, your room. Let’s go,” Lance said with a snap of his fingers. He shimmied after Keith, who took him by the wrist and pointedly made his way around the back of Shiro’s chair. It was the final piece of the plan, and it all depended on whether or not they could escape to the bedroom unquestioned.

It took approximately two seconds.

Shiro turned in his chair and said, “No wait—I want to hear more about Lance.”

Keith didn’t think he’d see a day when Shiro’s cock-blocking trend became intentional. He stuttered to a halt in the hallway and turned back to see the look on Lance’s face. It didn’t take a genius to put the pieces together, but the fact that the plan worked meant Lance’s chances of getting Shiro were slim to none now. Still, it didn’t stop Lance from grinning like an idiot and giggling at Keith. He turned to Shiro, biting his lip, fanning himself a little as he circled back around the counter and headed for the door. 

Keith watched in amazement as Lance made a fool of himself trying to get through the door and out of the apartment. Before closing the door behind him, he waved cheekily at Shiro before disappearing. Distantly, they heard Lance whoop on his way down the stairs before Shiro turned back to Keith to say, “What the fuck did I just witness?”

Keith’s jaw had dropped during the making of Lance’s stupid exit. He floundered for a second before remembering what was _actually_ on his mind. He turned his sharp eyes onto Shiro, who withered a little, dropping his hands to his lap like a goddamn guilty child. 

“You’ve been _sabotaging_ me on _purpose_ , haven’t you?” Keith said, jabbing a finger in Shiro’s direction. He went to stand where Shiro couldn’t avoid seeing him, and where Keith could watch as Shiro covered a hand over his face with a grimace. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

Keith let out a startled laugh, disbelief sending his eyebrows up and a hand to his hair. “How long have you been intentionally sabotaging my dates? Since September?”

Shiro drew his hand down to his mouth and met Keith’s stoney eyes. Keith waited, shaking with impatience as Shiro flitted through the months in his head. Eventually, Shiro said, “Since I met Matt last April.”

Keith scoffed in shock. One out of the five of his dates had _some_ semblance of hope. He was from their stint at the old apartment sophomore year—they lasted a month before Keith couldn’t keep hiding his date from Shiro. Before that, he had just had a one-night stand early on in the semester. After that, after the one-month stint, he met Matt somewhere in December. They just never went to Keith’s apartment out of Keith’s paranoia and worry that no relationship would be strong enough when the base human desire to fuck Shiro was on the table—ridiculous, and he knew that. But he couldn’t keep Matt from meeting Shiro forever. It took four months, though. 

“Are you mad? I can’t tell if you’re actually furious with me,” Shiro said, quietly. “I know I shouldn’t have interfered and—”

“I’m not _mad_ , I’m just _pissed_ ,” Keith hissed through clenched teeth. He clasped his hands to the counter and groaned, putting his head to his arms as he sucked in a deep breath and said, slowly, “I’m _pissed_ because you _know_ how I’ve been feeling. I never explicitly said you were the issue, but evidently you already knew that.”

“How were you feeling?” Shiro said. Keith looked up at him, only to find that Shiro was genuinely curious. Still, Keith lingered on the fact that Shiro was still _very_ shirtless with nothing but a towel around his neck. 

Keith licked his lips and diverted his eyes. He flushed, mostly out of embarrassment for the words that came to mind. Given the situation, transparency was best, so he said them. “ _Lonely_. It’s… _debilitating_. God, I didn’t think loneliness could hurt so much but it _does_ , and it hasn’t helped that I can’t hold a fucking relationship.”

Saying it out loud had his voice shaking. He sucked in a deep breath, biting his lip as he clawed his fingernails against the countertop as he watched Shiro stand. He turned to face Shiro, breath shaking. He leant his weight against the counter until he realized that Shiro was waiting for him to initiate this. He tipped forward against Shiro’s chest, the breath caught in his throat dissipating. 

He felt the weight of Shiro’s hand against his hair, holding his head to Shiro’s shoulder. He pressed his cheek to the bare, soft skin of Shiro’s shoulder and let himself lay his hands flat against Shiro’s back. Shiro shivered against him and laughed. “Jesus, your hands are cold.”

“Fucking good,” Keith said, splaying them flat against Shiro’s shoulder blades. Shiro cursed and wiggled out of Keith’s arms. Keith caught him by the ends of his towel, though, saying, “That’s what you get for walking in _shirtless_ on my fake date.”

“There are worse punishments,” Shiro said. He grinned at the way Keith rose his eyebrows and gave his towel a tug. 

“Don’t test me,” Keith said. “I’m still pissed at you.”

Keith knew Shiro well, but he never even considered that he would ever experience Shiro’s affection firsthand. He didn’t expect to ever feel Shiro’s hands on his waist, or hear Shiro’s voice spoken so close, Keith felt Shiro’s breath on his lips. “Forgive me?” he whispered, eyes lidded, and every inch of Keith’s skin shivered. 

Keith clenched his hands into fists around the towel and hissed under his breath, “ _Fuck_.” He tipped his head and pressed his lips to Shiro’s, a hand reaching up to curl his fingers in Shiro’s hair. Shiro parted his soft, pliant lips and sent Keith’s pulse racing as he pulled Keith close, his arms around Keith’s waist.

The anxiety of unrequited affection vanished in a flurry of excitement. Keith wanted so terribly to be wanted, and by some miracle, Shiro was willing to give him that. He couldn’t stop himself from shaking from the thrill of it all even after he pushed Shiro back into the couch and climbed on top of him. He kissed Shiro with quick fervor until Shiro reached up to hold him by the wrists and pull away.

“Are you okay with this?” Shiro asked, panting. Keith nodded quickly, settling back as Shiro rubbed his thumbs against the inside of Keith’s wrists. After a moment longer, Keith relaxed, pressing his forehead to Shiro’s shoulder. He curled his legs to the side and wrapped his arms around Shiro’s neck. 

“I’m just… excited, I guess,” he said. He tipped his head up to meet Shiro’s eye, smiling wide. Shiro kissed him on the forehead and whispered the same. They settled in, relaxing against one another, and Keith felt the intense urge to stay there forever. He never wanted to move. 

The sheer joy that came with having his arms around Shiro was only magnified by the fact that Shiro’s arms were around _him_ and no one else. Keith sighed into his embrace. He knew that Shiro was something of an anomaly, and he was certain he would never become accustom to the amazement that accompanied being the sole subject of Shiro’s warm affection.


End file.
